


Moments

by arden_scott



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: 50 First Dates AU, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Memory Loss, Mentions of past injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 00:42:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9048478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arden_scott/pseuds/arden_scott
Summary: A Check, Please! 50 First Dates AU--"We do not remember days, we remember moments." -Cesare PaveseIn the wake of a traumatic accident, Bitty is left with a short-term memory that resets every day, preventing him from remembering anyone he's met since the accident. That won't stop Jack from trying to get to know him.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheGirlWithTheKite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGirlWithTheKite/gifts).



> A swawesome santa gift from me to you, TheGirlWithTheKite! Happy holidays!

_ “Hey y’all! It’s been a while! Three and a half months, to be precise. I didn’t mean to be gone so long, but there was an accident and...um. Sorry, y’all, it’s still a lot for me to process. _

_ “On October 17, 2019, I was in an accident. It was raining, and as I was driving home from work, my car skidded off the road and...lord, it...well, it wrapped around a tree. I was awful hurt and spent about two months in intensive care. I’ve made a full recovery with one pretty big exception… It’s something the doctors called Goldfield Syndrome, sort of like anterograde amnesia and Alzheimer's. A part of my brain that deals with memory was damaged in the accident, and I basically have a short-term memory that lasts about a day. Once I go to sleep, it’s like my memory from the day is wiped clean. I remember everything before the accident, my family and friends from school, thank god, but…it’s been hard to adjust. I can’t remember new people I’ve met, new recipes I’ve learned, conversations that I had. I’ve been in a real funk these past few months, though I’m starting to work my way out of it. My family and friends have been so supportive through the whole thing, though, and I can’t even begin to tell them how much it means to me. _

_ “So as a part of my recovery I’ve been making a lot of videos for myself. There’s one that I watch every morning to remind myself of what happened, and I make one every night to document as much as I remember about what happened during the day. Now that I’m back on my feet, I hope to start doing more vlogs for y’all again. I’ll also be going back to work at the bakery; Cathy is just so kind for givin’ me my job back! _

_ “Anyways, I just wanted to let y’all know that I’m still kickin’. It’ll take a lot more than that to bring me down! I’ll be back in the next few days with a new recipe, so I’ll see y’all then! Bye!” _

-x-

It’s sometime between the breakfast rush and the lunch rush on Monday when the man walks in, looking around the bakery like he’s never seen anything like it before. He’s tall, certainly taller than Bitty, and built like an athlete. Dressed like one, too, in a t-shirt and shorts and the most garish yellow sneakers Bitty has ever had the misfortune to see.

“Good morning!”

The man jumps, looking at Bitty with wide eyes. Almost guiltily, he walks up to the counter. “Um, hi.”

“What can I get for you?”

“Could I have...coffee?”

Bitty blinks. “Uh, sure. Cream and sugar?”

“Er, no. Thank you.”

“Okay…. Anything else?”

The man stares at the display case of pastries before looking up again, helpless. “What do you recommend?”

“Well! Everything we have here is just delicious, you can’t go wrong with any of it, but personally— not to toot my own horn or anything, of course— I would recommend the maple-crusted apple pie. It’s a specialty of mine.”

“I’ll have a slice of that, please.”

“Certainly!”

The man pays and hovers awkwardly by the counter until Bitty smiles gently and says, “You can go sit down, if you’d like. I’ll bring it out to you.”

“Ah.” The man blushes and retreats to a table against the wall.

With practiced ease Bitty plates the pie, pours the coffee, and brings it out to the man. “Here you go! Maple-crusted apple pie and a cup of coffee! Anything else I can get you?”

“No, thank you. I'm all set.”

Bitty beams at him and retreats back to his stool and waits.

And waits.

Twenty minutes later Bitty has slumped over the counter, cheek resting in his hand. Nobody has come in since the man in the yellow sneakers, and Bitty is bored. He's not supposed to have his phone out when he's on register, but he thinks Cathy would make an exception.

Meanwhile the man in the yellow sneakers is still here, hunched over in his chair and scribbling in a spiral notebook.  _ Maybe he’s a writer, _ Bitty thinks.  _ Or an artist. Or a spy! Maybe this is his drop point, and he’s leaving a secret message in code for another spy. Or— _

Bitty spends the next five minutes coming up with increasingly elaborate backstories for the man before he decides it's acceptable to check in.

“How’s everything— Excuse me! Is there something wrong with my pie?”

The man looks up in surprise. “What?”

Bitty points at the slice of pie sitting uneaten by the man’s elbow. “You haven't even touched it. Is there something wrong?”

“I— No. No, I'm sure it's fine, I just—” He cuts off when he sees the smile tugging at Bitty's lips. “Wait. Are— Are you chirping me?”

Bitty feels his smile grow. “I sure have no idea what you're talking about.”

The man doesn't seem to know what to do with that, mouth gaping like a fish, so Bitty points at the pie again. “Try it. Let me know how you like it.”

He walks back to the register and watches with a sort of glee as the man eats a forkful of his pie and immediately sits up straighter. The man takes another bite and spins around in his seat to look at Bitty, who waves from behind the counter. The man waves back with a rather bewildered smile and goes back to the pie, eating it carefully and clearly enjoying it.

For the next few minutes Bitty alternates between checking his Twitter and watching the man eat, which sounds creepy and kind of is, but it brings him a lot of joy to see people enjoy his food, sue him. Bitty’s halfway composed a tweet about it when the man walks up to the counter with his empty plate and mug.

“That pie was amazing,” he says.

Bitty beams, phone all but forgotten. “Thank you! It’s somethin’ I’ve been tweaking for a while, I’m glad it turned out all right.”

“Is there any chance I could buy a whole pie? I’m going to dinner and I’m supposed to bring dessert.”

“Oh, of course! I can box one up in the back if you’d like.”

“That would be perfect, thank you.”

Bitty carefully packages one of his pies, still warm from the oven, and ties a bright blue ribbon around the box. The man’s face lights up when he sees it.

“That’s almost Falconer’s blue,” he says with a grin. “George will love that.”

“Falconers...that’s the hockey team here, right?” Bitty asks, running the man’s card.

The man blinks before nodding. “Yeah. Yeah, it is. George is, uh, a big fan.”

“How nice,” Bitty says. “I used to play hockey in college.”

“Really? What school?”

“Samwell University. It's up in Massachusetts.”

“You're joking! My mom went there.”

Bitty laughed. “Small world. Well, here you are!”

Their fingers brush as Bitty hands over the pie, and it sends the tiniest thrill through him.  _ Get ahold of yourself, Bittle, getting a crush on your customer like some silly teenager. _

“My name’s Jack, by the way,” the man blurts before immediately turning pink.

Bitty smiles and sticks out his hand. “Eric, though you can call me Bitty.”

Jack takes Bitty’s outstretched hand. “Nice to meet you, Bitty.”

“Likewise, Jack.”

The handshake lasts perhaps a few moments longer than it should, but it’s kind of...nice. Like something out of a rom-com. Jack’s hand is warm and callused, and his grip is firm. They both let go with a little laugh, Jack rubbing at the back of his neck while Bitty blushes at his shoes.

“Have a nice day, Jack,” he says, feeling his stomach swoop when he sees Jack’s sweet smile.

“You too, Bitty.” Jack takes his leave, blushing again and ducking his head when he realizes Bitty caught him looking back.

And if Bitty spends the rest of his shift daydreaming about Jack and his warm hands and his ugly sneakers, well. Nobody has to know.

-x-

It’s unseasonably cold for mid-April on Tuesday, which is probably the reason traffic is slower in the bakery. It’s not bad, though, because it gives Bitty some time to mess around with a few new recipes Mama sent to him from Pinterest.

Cathy comes back to the kitchen just as Bitty is dusting some lemon squares with powdered sugar, looking a little strange. “Someone’s here for you, Eric. Says his name’s Jack?”

Bitty grins ruefully and shrugs. “Not sure who that is, but I’ll go say hello.”

There’s an unfamiliar man standing at the counter, and Bitty can only assume it’s the one asking after him. He hopes everything is okay.

“Jack?”

The man looks up with the most beautiful blue eyes. “Bitty, hi. I just wanted you to know that that pie went over really well last night. George and her wife loved it.”

“Oh, I’m glad to hear that!” Which is true, though Bitty can’t say he’s not a little confused, because he doesn’t remember selling a pie to this man, or any woman named George. He knows, though, that his short-term memory is gone, so he’s not too bothered. There’s no reason to be impolite; sometimes you just have to go with the flow.

The man smiles and nods, a little flush coming into his cheeks. “Could I have a piece to go, please?”

He’s pointing at the maple-crusted apple, so Bitty slides a piece out from the case and into a little box. “Anything else?”

“Small black coffee?”

“Sure thing.” Bitty pours out the coffee, wrinkling his nose as he hands it over. How anyone could drink coffee like this is beyond him.

The man laughs quietly and hands over the money. “Have a nice day, Bitty.”

“You too!”

Bitty makes his way back to the kitchen to check on the second batch of lemon bars, still feeling a little off kilter. He tries to shake it off, and it works for a while as he throws himself into his baking, but even as he’s falling asleep that night, he’s still wishing he could remember Jack.

-x-

Wednesday is possibly Bitty’s favorite day at the bakery, because it’s Wacky Wednesday. Each week the bakery features a new and unusual pastry or drink, and Bitty loves to watch people try new things.

This week is spicy taco flavored coffee, which is frankly just horrifying and possibly an affront to God, but it seems to go over well with the customers.

“There are some brave people out there, let me tell you,” Bitty says to one man as he dishes up his slice of maple-crusted apple pie. “I’m willing to try a lot, but that is pushing it.”

“It can’t be that bad,” the man says with a grin.

“You wanna try it for yourself and let me know?” Bitty shoots back with a smile of his own.

“Yeah, okay,” the man says. There’s a determined glint in his eye, like he has something to prove. “I’ll have a small, please.”

Bitty laughs out loud and pours a mug for the man. “Here you are… Oh, lord, I don’t know if I can watch.”

“I think I can handle it,” the man says. He’s got a confident smile playing on his lips that Bitty wants to take a picture of and frame, because it’s cute and he has a feeling it’s not going to last long. Bitty peeks from between his fingers as the man takes his first sip. As predicted, that confident look disappears within seconds, replaced by an expression of absolute revulsion. The man makes a panicked sound, muffled by the coffee in his mouth.

“Bathroom!” Bitty yelps, pointing across the bakery. “Go! There’s a sink in there!”

The man dashes off, leaving Bitty hunched over himself in tears. He has never seen someone look so horrified in his life.

“I’m glad you think this is funny.”

Bitty forces himself upright, still laughing. The man is back at the counter, red-faced but looking less disgusted. “You—! Oh, lord, I’m so sorry, this is so impolite, but you should’ve seen the look on your face!”

The man rolls his eyes, but he looks like he’s fighting back a smile. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. I can’t believe they let you serve that crap.”

“I can’t believe you  _ bought  _ that crap,” Bitty chirps back.

The man looks pained. “ _ Touché. _ I think I’ll just stick to regular coffee for now on. A small, please?”

“Cream and sugar?”

“Uh, no...black, please.”

“Lord, that’s almost as bad as the taco coffee,” Bitty mutters.

“Are you ever going to stop chirping my coffee preferences?” the man chuckles.

Panic flares in Bitty’s chest; this man isn’t a stranger, not technically. They’ve clearly met before, if this teasing is anything to go by, but the man has no idea Bitty can’t remember him. It makes Bitty feel sick to his stomach; he hates this, hates not remembering all the new people he’s met. This man seems like he could be a friend, if only Bitty could remember who he was.

Fortunately the man doesn’t seem to notice Bitty’s internal struggle. He takes his coffee with smile and a thank you and walks out the door like he didn’t just tip Bitty’s world on its side.

-x-

On Thursday Bitty winds up running the bakery himself even though it’s his day off; Cathy’s daughter is home with a fever. The day is mostly a blur that finds Bitty caught up between customers and deliveries, running back and forth to keep everything in line. He nearly runs into someone standing at the counter because he can’t see over the stack of boxes in his arms.

“Lord, I am so sorry! Are you okay?”

The man puts out a steadying hand. “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine. Are you okay, Bi—”

“Sam!” Bitty hollers, already tottering back towards the kitchen. His mama would ream him out for interrupting someone like that, but the boxes are starting to slip, and they need to get in the kitchen as soon as possible. “Sam, come help this gentleman at the counter, please!”

Sam stumbles out from the back and up to the register. “How can I help you?”

Bitty’s already in the kitchen organizing the bags of flour when Sam pushes back in. “Yo, Bits, is there any more of the  maple-crusted apple back here? Guy at the counter wants a slice.”

Bitty shakes his head. “No, I’m sorry, I didn’t get the chance this morning. I don’t think I’ll be able to get any in until much later, if at all.”

“‘Kay.”

Bitty gets back to work and doesn’t spare a thought for the man at the counter again.

-x-

Friday is unusually slow. Bitty nearly jumps out of his skin when the bell above the door chimes and a man in horrid yellow sneakers walks up to the counter.

“Hi! What can I get for you?”

The man laughs. “What, you can’t guess?”

Bitty blinks. “Um, no?”

“C’mon.” The man smiles. “After all this time, you’d think I’d change my order on you?”

“I...don’t know you,” Bitty says slowly. His stomach is starting to twist. “I’m sorry, I… Could you just tell me? I’m sorry.”

The man looks confused. “But… I’m Jack, remember? We’ve been talking every day this week. How can you not remember?”

Bitty feels his throat tightening. “Please, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m— I’m sorry, but—”

“Eric, honey, lemme handle this.” Cathy walks out from the kitchen, brushing flour off her apron. “You go check on my cakes, please.”

Bitty spares another panicked look at the man before scurrying back to the ovens. The cakes are doing just fine, still have another few minutes before they’re ready. He doesn’t collapse onto the stool, but it’s a near thing. His legs feel numb, heart racing, because he doesn’t know what’s happening, doesn’t know who this man is or why he thinks he knows Bitty, he just doesn’t understand. That was more than just a case of mistaken identity; that man seems certain he knows Bitty.

He’s halfway close to tears by the time Cathy comes back. She clucks her tongue and wraps him in her arms, patting his hair. “None of that, honey, you’re okay.”

Bitty sniffs and straightens, letting out a shaky breath. “I just don’t get it. Why would someone play such a mean trick?”

“Aw, he didn’t mean to, Eric. He didn’t know about you, that’s all. I sent him on his way, don’t you worry.”

“Cath, what are you talkin’ about? ‘Didn’t know about me—’ what does that mean?”

Cathy stops and stares at him. The kitchen fills with the hum of machinery, and for the first time, Bitty can’t stand it. It feels like the world has shifted beneath his feet. Something is  _ wrong _ .

“What in the world is—”

“Did you watch your video this morning?”

“M—my what? What video? This isn’t funny, Cathy—”

“Eric, what day is it?”

“What?”

“Tell me what day it is, please.” She looks so upset, and it doesn’t make sense but it sends trickles of dread down his spine.

“It’s— It’s…” Bitty stares at Cathy, eyes wide. “I don’t know. Cathy, I don’t know what day it is! I don’t know— What’s going on? Cathy, what—” He chokes on a sob, grasping at his hair, chest heaving. He doesn’t know. It’s a blank space, something lurking just out of reach.

“Eric, sweetheart, listen, it’s okay. It’s okay! I know this is scary, but you need to take a deep breath. I’m going to get my phone, all right? I need to show you a video. But you have to calm down a little.”

Bitty sucks in a breath and holds it, letting it out slowly. The terror surges up again but he pushes it down, focusing on Cathy’s warm hand resting on his back. He takes his breaths one at a time until he can do it without shaking, wiping at his eyes and nose with the tissue Cathy brings him. “Thank you,” he whispers hoarsely.

She smiles at him, small but tender, and bustles out to her office. When she returns, her phone is in her hand, and she passes it to Bitty. There’s a video on the screen; the thumbnail is of Bitty’s own face.

_ “Hi Bitty! It’s, uh, Bitty. As you can see. Um. This is going to sound really crazy, but you were in an accident on October 17, 2019, and you lost your short-term memory. You can remember everything before the accident, but not after. Usually your memory will last the whole day, but it doesn’t always, which is why I made this video to explain. All your friends and family have it just in case. I know you’re probably really freaked out, but just take a deep breath. You’re gonna be okay. Trust me.” _

The video ends, and Bitty feels frozen. He can’t move, can’t even breathe. It feels like the world is crashing around him; he can hear it in the blood that rushes through his ears.

An accident. A bad one, brain-damage bad.

He doesn’t want to believe it but how can he not when the evidence is all here? He can’t even remember what day it is.

Dimly he can hear Cathy talking to someone, but he can’t really understand much else. He doesn’t really care. He’s probably passed months, maybe even years, without even realizing it. What’s happened during all that time? How much has he lost?

Cathy’s face suddenly swims before him, blurred by tears. “Eric, darling, I’m so sorry. I called Larissa, she’s going to come pick you up and take you home, okay?”

Bitty nods dumbly, still lost. The feeling has drained out of his arms and legs; someone’s going to have to help him to the car. Cathy wraps her arms around him and holds him tight until two people come into the kitchen.

“Oh, Bitty.” Lardo. She hurries over and takes his hand, squeezing it tight. “Thanks for calling, Cath.”

Shitty comes up behind her. “Hey, little brah. Let’s get you home.”

Bitty slips off the stool and walks out to the car, bracketed by his friends. At least he remembers them.

-x-

When Bitty arrives at the bakery early Saturday morning, he’s immediately swept into Cathy’s office. There’s a man sitting in one of the chairs opposite her desk, staring intently at his shoes. He looks up immediately when Bitty comes in.

“Bitty.”

“I— I’m sorry, have we met?” Bitty asks, uncertain. He throws a confused glance over his shoulder at Cathy, who gestures for him to sit. He takes the second chair, looking between Cathy and the strange man who knows his name, waiting for an explanation.

“Listen,” Cathy begins. “Given the events of yesterday, I thought we should all sit down for a little chat. Eric, did you watch your video from last night?”

“Yes. Sounds like I had a pretty bad day.”

Cathy nods. “You did. How are you feeling now?”

“Fine,” Bitty says. “I mean, I don’t actually remember any of it, so I’m as fine as I can be, I suppose. But, um...not to be rude, but...what does that have to do with...him? I’m sorry, I don’t know your name,” Bitty adds to the man.

The man starts, looking at Bitty in confusion. “Jack,” he says slowly. “My name is Jack. Zimmermann. Jack Zimmermann.”

Bitty reaches over to shake his hand, because even though this the most bizarre situation he’s can remember experiencing, he still has his manners. “Eric Bittle, but everyone calls me Bitty.”

“Yeah, I— I know.”

“Right,” Bitty says. “Sorry, I— Sorry.”

Jack stares at him for a moment longer before looking at Cathy almost pleadingly. “What is going on here? I feel like I’m missing something important.”

Bitty feels his stomach sink; he needs to tell Jack the truth. “Jack, I… I was in an accident.”

Jack swivels to look at him, wide-eyed and pale. “What?”

“A little over half a year ago,” Bitty continues. The words keep coming, whether he likes it or not. “My car went off the road, and I hit a tree. Broke a few bones, punctured a lung, brain damage. It’s called Goldfield Syndrome. My short-term memory only lasts about a day before it goes away completely. That’s why I don’t remember you.”

Jack looks like he’s going to be sick. “So every time we met this week…”

Bitty shakes his head miserably. “I had no idea who you were.”

“But…the day after we met, you called me by my name. You remembered it. Me.”

“I didn’t. I have all these tricks like sticky notes and videos, and my friends and family help me a lot, but I don’t actually retain any of the memories I’ve made since the accident. I had no idea who you were. Apparently I’m just good at faking it.”

For whatever reason, Jack looks devastated. Bitty feels the same.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I wish I could remember you, but I can’t.”

Jack flinches, and it hurts,  _ lord _ , it hurts. Bitty sinks into his chair; maybe if he goes low enough he could disappear.

Cathy sighs, drawing both their attentions back. “Look. I don’t want to speak for you, Eric, but I think it’s best if Jack doesn’t come back here. You’re not going to remember him, but he will, and I’m afraid that’s just going to cause more problems for the both of you.”

Jack bolts upright. “That’s not fair!”

“You’re right, it’s not. It seems you both have been dealt a shit hand, if you’ll pardon my language. But imagine going through this every day. Is it worth it?”

“That’s not for you to decide.”

“She’s right, Jack,” Bitty says quietly. The way Jack deflates at his words is agonizing, but it had to be done. “No matter what you do, I’m not gonna remember you the next day. It’s just best if you didn’t bother.”

Jack’s expression is heartbreaking. “But—”

“I think you should go,” Bitty murmurs. He doesn’t look at Jack again, doesn’t think he could bear it.  _ It’s for the best _ , he tells himself.  _ It’ll only end in pain for him, you’re saving him that. _

If only it didn’t hurt so bad.

The chair scrapes against the floor as Jack stands. “I’m not just giving up,” he says, quiet but firm. Bitty just stares at his shoes.

He only looks up when the door shuts behind Jack, tears welling in his eyes. “May I be excused?”

“Of course, Eric.”

Bitty’s feet take him right to the kitchen, and he begins pulling a pie together without even really realizing it.

_ It’s for the best _ , the little voice reminds him. _ Whatever kind of relationship y’all would have had could not last. Who would want to spend time with someone who would forget all about their existence? _

-x-

_ “Hi. It’s April 26, 2020, at about…9:30pm. I had work today, although when I got there Cathy took me into her office straight away. Felt kinda like being called to the principal’s. We had a conversation about something that had happened earlier this week… Ugh. I just… I don’t wanna give myself too many details. I know I promised myself that I’d be totally honest in these videos but…but keeping it to myself is better. Forgetting about it is better, in the long run. I think. I hope. Lord, what a mess… _

_ “Anyways, we got that taken care of, so I went about my usual day, baking pies, serving customers. A whole little league softball team came in, and they were just the cutest things, all dressed up in their oversized team t-shirts….” _

-x-

Bitty has the next day off, but he wishes he didn’t; he could use the Sunday rush to keep his mind off of the video he made last night. He  _ lied _ to himself, a lie of omission. What could be so horrible that he felt he was better off not knowing? There aren’t enough clues in the other videos, and it’s tortuous knowing that  _ something _ happened, something big, but he just can’t remember it.

So he throws himself into baking like he always does, and by the end of the day he’s got enough pies to bring to all of his neighbors on the floor.

He’s still worrying about it by the time he makes his video that night, and it keeps him up later than is good for him. What could it possibly  _ be? _

By Wednesday, though, he’s given it up as a lost cause. There’s no way he’s going to remember it, and it’s no use dwelling on it. As far as Bitty knows, life goes on as usual.

-x-

_ “I had the strangest encounter with the delivery man today. He was asking me all about my family, seemed real interested. He didn’t seem like a serial killer or anything, though, so I told him about Mama and Coach and Moomaw, of course. Turns out he's from Canada himself. His dad’s from there, and he was born there, though his mom was born here in the States. I’m pretty sure I’ve never been to Canada, but I’d love to go...he sure made it sound beautiful. _

_ “Cathy got mad and pulled him aside, though, when she saw him talking to me. I’ve never seen her angry like that before, and lord, I was more nervous than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, let me tell you. But he just took it all in stride, like it wasn’t the first time this has happened. He just looked at her and said, ‘I told you I’m not just giving up.’ And then he left. So cryptic. Cathy stomped out, too, and I didn’t want to make her more upset, so I just let her be. I don’t think I was supposed to be listening anyways…” _

-x-

_ “—and the guy was like, ‘So, what do you like to do?’ Is that a weird question for your Uber driver to ask? I don't know, but it was nice. So I told him I love baking, and he just kept asking me about it, like how long I've been doing it and what my favorite thing to bake is, and it was just...really nice. He seemed really, genuinely interested. Most people tell me I chatter too much, but he just kept listening and listening…” _

-x-

_ “I got the strangest gift at work today, y’all, some of the most beautiful baking chocolate I’ve ever seen in my life. It was all wrapped up in plain brown paper with a little note that said: ‘From Jack.’ And I’m really not sure who that is, but Sam said he’s a good guy, and I trust Sam’s judgement. So tonight I’m going to bake my Moomaw’s chocolate pecan pie. And Jack, if you’re watching, you’re a real sweetheart. Thank you!” _

-x-

Bitty's in the kitchen when he hears Cathy's sharp voice cut through the hum of the ovens. It's a sound that makes him uneasy, even though he knows she's not mad at him. He peers through the little window in the kitchen door and spots his boss standing behind the counter with her arms crossed firmly over her chest. Across from her is an unfamiliar man with dark hair and a stubborn look on his face. Every instinct is screaming at Bitty to stay where he is and let Cathy handle it; she's a tough cookie, she would ask for help if she needed it.

But something else, something quieter and stronger, tells Bitty to go out there. So he does.

“Is everything okay out here?”

Cathy and the man look at him at the same time, and it takes everything Bitty had not to shrink back into the kitchen. 

“Eric—”

“Bitty—”

“Oh, I'm sorry,” Bitty says to the man with a self-conscious little smile. “Have we met? I'm afraid my memory is just terrible.”

“Eric—”

“We have,” the man says. “My name is Jack Zimmermann. We’ve met several times, actually, nearly three weeks ago. There was an…incident, though.”

“An incident,” Bitty echoes. He doesn’t like the way that sounds. “Cathy?”

Cathy sighs. “I should have seen this coming. Let’s do this in my office, please, there’s no need to do this here. Sam? Take the register please.”

Across the bakery, Sam clears the last table and gives Cathy a thumbs up.

In the office, Cathy stares at both Bitty and Jack for a long moment before heaving another sigh. “Right. So. About three weeks ago, you two met. Jack came in every day for a week, but he didn’t know about your memory, Eric, and one day, there was a bit of a panic. Your memory had lapsed since that morning, and you didn’t realize you’d been in an accident. It was…a rough day, to say the least. The next morning, Jack was waiting outside before even I got here to apologize to you, but I… Well, I wouldn’t let him. When you arrived, we had a meeting, all three of us, and I told Jack he shouldn’t keep coming here to see you. You agreed. Jack did not. He’s been coming here every day for the past two weeks to talk to you. Once he even pretended to be a delivery man.”

Bitty stared at Jack, brow furrowed. “Why?”

“Because I like you, Bits. I think you’re someone worth getting to know.” He said it so plainly, like it wasn’t absurd to befriend someone like Bitty.

“I’ve been trying to keep him away. I’m going to sound like an absolute witch, but I was doing it to protect you. Now, I know you don’t need me to mother you, but… Eric, you looked so torn up when you told him to leave you alone. Even though you might forget that pain by the next day, it could happen over and over, and I couldn’t just stand by and watch you get hurt every day. I thought Jack might give up, but he’s persistent. I feel awful for doing this to you, Eric, and I understand if you hate me for it. I want to keep your best interests at heart, but you’re a grown man, and I lied to you. I’m so sorry.”

“I—” Bitty lets out a short breath. He feels like he’s been kicked in the stomach. She’s been lying to him for  _ days _ . Sure, the truth came out in the end, but it’s a hard thing to swallow. “I think I need to be alone.”

“Of course, Eric,” Cathy rushes to say. “Of course. Take the rest of the day today, we can talk later.”

Bitty nods blankly and walks out, stopping only to get his backpack from the breakroom. Jack is standing outside when he leaves, hovering awkwardly by the door.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

There’s a pause before Jack pulls a slightly uncomfortable smile and gestures down the block. “We could get lunch, if you want? I understand if you want to be alone, but…”

Bitty stares at him. He’s practically a stranger. He could be a serial killer for all Bitty knows. But something tells Bitty he’s a good guy, so he shrugs. “Lead the way.”

They end up at a hole-in-the-wall café Bitty had no idea existed, tucked quietly out of sight but just the sweetest little place. They take their sandwiches to one of the tables outside, because it’s a beautiful late spring day, and the blue sky makes Bitty feel less like he’s suffocating on the realization that he was lied to.

For a while they sit without saying a single word, and it’s an uncomfortable sort of silence, the kind where you know you’re supposed to be talking but can’t quite get there. Bitty’s searching around for the right way to start a conversation when the words just start coming out of their own volition.

“You really pretended to be a delivery man to see me?”

Jack looks startled before breaking into a quiet laugh. “Yeah, I did. I was also your Uber driver once. I took you to the farmer’s market.”

“That’s…kind of creepy,” Bitty says slowly.

Jack turns bright red, lowering his eyes. “Yeah. Yeah, that one I felt weird about.”

“But you did it anyway.”

“Yeah…” Jack clears his throat, looking supremely uneasy. “Look, I can leave, if you want. I want to get to know you, but not if it makes you uncomfortable.”

Bitty considers this. If Jack left, Bitty could carry on living his life without anymore weird interruptions like this. But there’s a distant, echoing part of him that misses making new friends. If this is his only chance, he should take it, right?

Slowly, Bitty shakes his head. “No… No, you can stay. Just no more driving me places, or pretending to be other people. That’s a little much for me, I think.”

“I can do that,” Jack says, looking relieved. “Uh, so… Is it okay if I ask you about your memory…stuff? Just so I don’t mess up like I did last time?”

“Sure, fire away.”

“So, you were in a car accident? And now your short-term memory only lasts for the day?”

Bitty nods. “It’s called Goldfield Syndrome.”

“And there’s no cure for it? No treatment?”

Bitty shakes his head. “Nothing. There’s been some evidence of people learning new things without realizing it, knowing things without knowing how they know it, but it’s rare, and they’re not real memories.”

Jack lets out a sigh through his nose. “I can’t imagine what that’s like.”

“It’s very strange. It makes me sad sometimes, but I try not to let it get to me so much. I only have the day, an’ there’s no use in letting it waste away feeling down on myself. I gotta make the most of it, you know?”

“That’s very brave,” Jack says softly.

Bitty’s face scrunches up in confusion, but he can sense that this is something bigger than a simple platitude, so he doesn’t press. Instead he takes a bite of his sandwich and tries to figure out how exactly the events in his life brought him here with Jack, eating a meal together after all this madness like Bitty didn’t just drop a bomb about his memory. Jack doesn’t seem nearly as perturbed as he possibly should be, and Bitty’s not quite sure what to do. But it’s nice, it’s good, Jack isn’t running for the hills, and maybe it’s selfish, but Bitty wants Jack as his friend. There’s a relationship there, even if Bitty can’t remember it by himself, and he wants more. He wants whatever he can get.

After lunch Jack decides he needs a long walk to work off all the pie he’s eaten in the last week, and he asks Bitty to join him. Bitty, in a fit of possibly reckless but utterly joyful abandon, agrees.

The temperature has risen but there’s a lovely breeze that keeps them comfortable. They take their time on their walk, talking about anything and everything that comes to mind. Bitty doesn’t let himself get caught up in his own head, doesn’t let himself worry about how he won’t remember a thing tomorrow. He just enjoys the company and revels in the fact that Jack seems to be enjoying himself, too.

They learn a lot about each other, things they like and dislike. They’re certainly very different people, but they do have some things in common. Like hockey, for example; Jack plays hockey too.

Professionally, though.

Like, National Hockey League professionally.

“So you’re  _ famous?! _ ” Bitty squawks, stopping dead in the middle of the sidewalk. He’s becoming friends with a celebrity. How is this his life?

Jack shushes him, looking around at the empty street. “I’m not… I don’t know, in some circles, I guess I’m famous. My parents are more famous.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better, Mr. Zimmermann,” Bitty grumbles before walking on. He does make a note of it on his phone, though. Something to add to his nightly video.

They keep walking, even though it’s been hours and Bitty’s feet are starting to hurt. He doesn’t want to stop, though. Talking to Jack is  _ fun _ . Jack is interesting and kind and funny in a weird but nice way, and he seems genuinely interested in what Bitty has to say. If he’s being honest with himself, Bitty would say he has a bit of a crush on Jack, but romance is so far off his radar it’s practically non-existent.

Eventually they end up at a park, tucked away on a grassy hill in the shade. It’s the most picturesque place Bitty thinks he’s ever seen, all lush greens and bright flashes of flowers.  _ The perfect place for a date _ , his brain supplies, though he does his best to push that thought away. It’s fruitless, and dwelling about it won’t do any good.

“So you used to play hockey, eh?” Jack asks. “Bet you were fast.”

Bitty rolls his head across the grass to smirk at Jack. “You have no idea.”

This starts a long and rambling conversation about hockey and figure skating and who could be whom in a race. It makes Bitty laugh, harder than he can remember, and he and the boys from Samwell used to get up to some pretty hilarious shenanigans. Lying on the grass with Jack is joy, pure joy, and Bitty is soaking up every second of it. The rest of the day passes far too quickly for Bitty’s liking. There’s still so much to talk about, but the clock is ticking. Bitty’s never felt the pressure of time quite like this before; it’s oppressive.

When they finally accept that it’s getting late, they make their meandering way through the park. They don’t talk much, but it’s better than before. It’s familiar, as familiar as it can be, and easy. Bitty’s not sure he’s ever been so comfortable not talking before.

“Something on your mind, Bits?”

Jack’s words break through his reverie, and he sighs. “I just… I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but… Why are you doing this? Why are you being so nice to me?”

“Bitty, I—” Jack cuts off, rubbing the back of his neck. “I know I’m only just getting to know you, but we talked  _ all _ day, and that means a lot to me. I… Well, I like you, Bitty. And I’d like to keep getting to know you, even if you won’t always know who I am. I think you’re worth that.”

“Lord, you sure know how to flatter a fella,” Bitty mumbles, cheeks burning. There’s a chorus of  _ he likes you, he likes you, he likes you _ playing in his head, but he’s trying to play it cooler than that. 

Jack laughs quietly, throwing an arm around Bitty’s shoulders. “C’mon, let’s get you home.”

Jack insists on walking Bitty back to his apartment, and they stand there at the door for as long as they can manage, still chatting about anything they can come up with. Eventually, though, they both fall quiet.

“I had a lovely day with you, Jack,” Bitty says after a moment.

“Me too,” Jack says. “With you, I mean. A good day with you. Hah.”

Bitty huffs the quietest laugh, squeezing Jack’s hand in him. He looks up at Jack just as Jack looks down at him.

And then it happens the way it always does in the movies: they gaze into each other’s eyes and they  _ know _ , butterflies swirling in their bellies, and slowly, they drift closer until their lips meet. It’s the sweetest kiss Bitty has ever received, and it makes his heart ache in his chest. The perfect first kiss.

“Goodnight, Bitty,” Jack murmurs against his mouth.

“Goodnight, Jack,” Bitty whispers back. He watches Jack walk away until he disappears from view before running up to his room and falling against his door like a lovesick teenager. Jack  _ kissed _ him!  _ Jack _ kissed  _ him _ ! Bitty could just scream from it all.

He takes a moment to compose himself before sitting in front of his laptop and turning on his camera.

_ “Oh. My. Lord. I don’t even know where to begin. I just had the most amazing day of my life, and I’ll be damned if I don’t get every minute of it down on this video. Okay, it began when I got up this morning…” _

-x-

The next morning finds Bitty in a strange headspace. The news—is it really news if it’s never new? — of his accident puts a damper on his mood; how could it not? But there was more to last night’s video than usual, something unexpected but lovely: Jack Zimmermann. A friend, it seems, perhaps something more. Not a boyfriend, not quite, not yet… Something more nebulous, something deliciously uncertain, a relationship in transition, a  _ might-be _ , a  _ someday _ . A hope.

Bitty stifles his smile into his pillow and gets ready for work.

-x-

Cathy looks surprised to see Bitty when he arrives at the bakery. “Eric, I— I wasn’t sure if you were coming in.”

Bitty nods. His stomach is in knots, but he knows he has to say this. “I’ve been thinking about…what happened yesterday. And I forgive you. You said you were doing it to protect me, and I believe that. But… But you can’t do that to me again, Cath. I don’t think I could take it. No matter what, please don’t lie to me.”

There are tears in Cathy’s eyes when she takes his hands in both of hers. “I won’t, Eric. I was wrong to do it, and I wouldn’t dream of doing it again. Thank you for giving me a second chance.”

Bitty smiles, then tips his head towards the kitchen. “Let’s get to work, Cath. Those pies won’t bake themselves.”

-x-

Jack is still several feet behind him when Bitty rounds the final corner, throwing his hands in the air in celebration.

“ _ Ha! _ Told you I could beat you!”

Jack slides in next to him, spraying snow against the boards blazoned with the Falconer’s logo. He bends over, hands on his knees and breathing heavily in between barks of laughter. The look on his face is slightly awestruck, and Bitty wants to kiss it off.

He would have, too, if Jack hadn't sprung upright and tore off down the ice, yelling “Best two out of three!”

_ “Hey!” _ Bitty shouts, and then takes off after him.

-x-

“Are we dating?” Jack asks one evening in the middle of June.

Bitty is in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on dinner. He thinks about all the time they've been spending together for the past few weeks, and the way he’s talked about Jack with that dreamy look on his face in the videos. He looks up from uncorking a bottle of wine to look at Jack in surprise. “Huh! Well, maybe. I suppose you could call it that.”

“Would you like to? Call it dating, I mean?”

“Jack Zimmermann, are you asking me to be your boyfriend?” Bitty asks. His heart is in his throat; everything in his videos about Jack made him feel there had to be more than friendship between them, but he hadn’t dared to really believe it.

Jack looks so painfully hopeful, and it’s only then that Bitty lets himself believe. “Um. Yes?”

“Of course. Oh, Jack, of course!” Bitty throws himself at Jack, who catches him easily, holding him tight.

“Can I kiss you?” Jack asks. “Please say yes.”

Bitty brushes his fingers over Jack’s cheek. He feels like he’s going to burst, so full of excitement he’s shaking with it. “Kiss me.”

And Jack does.

-x-

“You're sure, right? That you want to date me?”

“What?”

“I'm just checking,” Bitty says. “Because I won't remember but—”

“So I'll make a video to remind you,” Jack interrupts. He holds his hand out. “Give me your phone.”

“What?”

“Give me your phone. I'm going to make you a video.”

Bemused, Bitty hands his phone over. Jack opens the camera and hits record. 

“Hi Bitty. My name is Jack Zimmermann. Today is June 11, 2020, and earlier this evening you agreed to be my boyfriend. I can't even begin to tell you how glad I am that you said yes, and I will gladly remind you every single day.”

Jack hands the phone back and grins, like he didn't just do the sweetest thing Bitty has ever seen. 

“Oh,  _ Jack…” _

“I mean it, Bits. I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't.”

There's nothing Bitty can do but smile.  _ This boy _ .

-x-

“It’s just so strange, Jack, you can’t even imagine,” Bitty says. They’re walking along the waterfront after dinner, the city lights a warm glow in the background. It's late July, and the heat of the day is still lingering on the pavement. “It’s like a first date for me, but for you, it’s like we’ve been dating for months.”

Jack shakes his head. “I really can’t imagine.”

“I don’t think I thought I would ever have this, you know? A relationship like this, with someone I met after the accident. It's strange, but I'm so glad it worked.”

Jack smiles down at him softly. “I'm glad too.”

They get caught up in staring at each other, smiling softly, unable to look away. Bitty tries to look at Jack’s face as often as he can, tries to memorize his features just in case he wakes up one morning and remembers Jack without any assistance.

“Can I… Can I kiss you?”

Bitty blinks and feels his smile grow. “I’d like that.”

He stretches up on his toes to meet Jack halfway, and when their lips touch, it’s like fireworks. A cliché, sure, but it’s the closest Bitty can get to describing the way electricity sparks through his blood. It’s not their first kiss, not technically, but it feels like it. And there’s nothing better than a first kiss.

Bitty smiles against Jack’s lips and feels Jack smile in return. 

They break apart and keep walking, linked by their pinkie fingers all the way to Bitty’s apartment. 

“Do you want to come up? It’s still early.”

Jack bites his lip. “Sure.”

They make their way up, and Bitty sends a quiet thank you to his past self for cleaning the place up before going out to dinner.

“Want anything to drink?”

Jack shakes his head, so Bitty joins him in the living room. They stand there looking at each other for a moment before breaking into giggles. It's silly and light-hearted, but there's something underneath it, and they both know it. Bitty steps closer.

“Remind me again, how long have we been dating?”

“Three months, two weeks,” Jack replies immediately.

Bitty looks up, feeling sly.“And we've never slept together?”

Jack choked. “Uh, I mean, no, we— we haven't done that.”

“Well, I don't usually put out on the first date, but… I was thinking, if you want to…”

“Bitty, are you sure? It's not too weird for you? You don't think I'm taking advantage or anything, right?”

“Jack, sweetheart, everything is a little weird for me. But you care about me so much, and I care about you, too. I trust you, Jack.”

Jack looks at him, so solemn, and then nods. He pulls Bitty close, slipping one thigh between both of Bitty’s and lord, if that isn’t the hottest thing. Bitty would be moaning if Jack weren’t kissing him slow and deep as his hands slip lower down his back, his waist, fingers smoothing over the skin above his pants. 

“You stop me if you need to at any moment, okay? I won't be angry, not ever.”

“Same to you,” Bitty breathes. “Now kiss me.”

Jack groans and tugs him closer, fingers tightening on Bitty's ass. He can feel Jack hard against his stomach, and it sends a flare of arousal through his blood. His hips push forward, and it would have been embarrassing, rutting against Jack like this, but Jack whines, low and broken and just so damn pretty, like he loves it.

“Do you… Do you want to take this to your room?”

“Yes,” Bitty breathes. “Lord, please.”

Jack lets out a rough breath, fingers tightening on Bitty’s waist before pulling away and taking Bitty’s hand. “Come on.”

Bitty lets Jack lead him down the hall to his own bedroom. It would almost be funny if Jack’s lips weren’t pressed to his neck, sucking little bruises that would just barely be covered by his collar.

“Lord, Jack… Oh!” Bitty lets his eyes roll back for just a moment before pushing at Jack’s chest. “On the bed, sweetheart, please.”

Jack smirks but goes willingly, sprawling across the mattress all flushed and rumpled. Bitty spares a moment to look at him before climbing into his lap. They look at each other then, so soft and full of love, and Bitty’s not sure he’s actually awake right now but that’s okay. After everything, all the fear and heartbreak and pain, he gets this. He gets to give his love to someone, gets to receive love in turn. He’s aching in his jeans, knows Jack must be too, full of fire and want and need, but this is special, and he wants it to last.

Bitty smoothes his hands over Jack’s chest before plucking at his shirt. “Off, please.”

Jack surges upright and tugs his shirt over his head before kissing Bitty again. He’s grasping at Bitty’s arms, his shoulders, hands cupping around his face like he can’t get enough. It’s a heady thing to be wanted like that, and Bitty gives it all right back. He pulls away for the briefest moment to take his own shirt off before he sways closer, arms wrapped around Jack’s neck as he kisses him. The feeling of their bare skin pressed together is electric, and Bitty wants more. 

“Pants,” Bitty grunts.

Jack rolls suddenly beneath him, flipping Bitty flat on his back and hovering above him. It's a display of brute strength, and normally that would be annoying, but normally, Bitty’s not getting thrown around by his half-naked, well-muscled boyfriend. 

It's hot, to say the least.

Jack fumbles at Bitty’s belt for only a second before getting at the fastenings of his shorts. Those come off easily and get thrown across the room, followed by his briefs. 

“ _ Fuck,” _ Jack whispers. “You're so beautiful.”

Bitty feels his cheeks heat and reaches for Jack’s shorts. It takes longer to get them off because Bitty hasn't done this in a good while, and also because the feeling of Jack’s hard cock pressed against the back of Bitty’s hand is supremely distracting. He figures it out eventually, and it's all he can do not to weep when he finally gets Jack naked.

“ _ Mother Mary,  _ Jack,” Bitty moans. “Lord, you're prettier‘n I could’ve ever imagined.”

Jack smiles and lowers himself until they’re pressed together from head to toe, naked as the day they were born. Bitty feels like he’s on fire, and he loves it; he’d gladly burn to ashes if it means he could stay like this forever. 

“I didn’t think…” Jack begins, his voice a quiet rumble. “I wasn’t sure if we’d ever get here, you know? I’d be fine if we never slept together, but I couldn’t say I didn’t want to. I didn’t think too much about it, though,  didn’t want to...I don’t know, get my hopes up or anything. But I knew if I got one chance, I… I’d want you to fuck me. If— If you want, of course. No pressure, really, whatever you’re comfortable wi—”

“Jack,” Bitty cuts in gently. “I would really, really love to.”

Jack lets out a breath of laughter that slips into a moan as Bitty squeezes at his ass. His hips jerk, cock rubbing against the crease of Bitty’s thigh before he rolls himself off. “Condoms and lube?”

Bitty grabs them from the nightstand, grateful that he somehow still had all this left. “How do you want to do this?”

“On my back,” Jack replies immediately. “I want to see you.”

Bitty sucks his lower lip between his teeth. “Lord, you’re going to kill me.”

With a careful hand, Bitty nudges Jack’s thighs apart, opening him up. He slicks his other fingers generously, rubbing the pad of his index finger over Jack’s hole before pressing inside. It’s achingly intimate, watching Jack’s face scrunch with pleasure as he takes first one of Bitty’s fingers and then two and three. Bitty keeps it up for perhaps a little longer than strictly necessary, in part because he wants to be certain Jack won’t get hurt, and also in part because the tiny shivers and gasping whines Jack makes with each thrust of his fingers are addictive.

“ _ Crisse _ … Bitty, please…”

Bitty sweeps his hand over Jack’s thigh, smiling softly. “I’ve got you, sweetheart.”

He rolls a condom over his cock and drizzles it with lube, carefully rubbing the head over Jack’s slick hole before sinking in. The feel of Jack so tight around him is incredible in the most excruciating way, and Bitty has to take a moment to compose himself.

“Jack? You doin’ okay, honey?”

“ _ Ngh _ , fuck. Yeah, Bits, I’m great. You can move when you’re ready.”

“Okay,” Bitty breathes. He thrusts once and has to bite down on his lip to stifle a cry. “Oh, lord.”

“More, Bits, please,” Jack moans, shifting restlessly on the sheets. 

How could Bitty say no to that? He rearranges Jack’s legs to wrap around his waist and leans forward, hands planted beside Jack’s shoulders. He drops a kiss to the middle of Jack’s chest before starting to fuck him in earnest. 

It’s more work than Bitty remembers it to be, but it’s worth it for the way Jack’s mouth drops open and eyes roll back, hands landing on Bitty’s ass to urge him faster, harder, closer. They’re both whining, crying out, their sounds almost masking the slap of Bitty’s hips against Jack’s ass.

“Bitty,  _ fuck! _ I’m getting close.”

“Touch yourself,” Bitty orders breathlessly. “Come for me.”

Jack keens and grasps his cock, already wet with precome. He jerks himself hard and fast, in sync with Bitty’s thrusts. “Oh my god. God— Oh, fuck. Fuck _, fuck!_ _Bitty!”_

Jack comes with one last cry, body arching off the bed as he spills over his fist. Bitty manages to fuck him through his orgasm until he comes himself, pressing himself deep. 

After all the noise they made, the sudden quiet is somehow hilarious. They burst into almost simultaneous laughter, in between quick gasps to regain their breath. 

“That was...incredible,” Jack pants. “ _ You’re _ incredible.”

Bitty kisses the nearest part of Jack he can reach, which turns out to be his shoulder. He’s still a little overcome, and words seem to have escaped him for the moment. 

Jack gets up and returns with a warm, wet cloth. He cleans Bitty up as much as one can with only a washcloth and crawls back into bed beside him, pressing kisses to the sweaty hair at Bitty’s temple.

They lie tangled together for a while, basking in the afterglow. Bitty makes his video for the night with Jack right beside him, who is refusing to look at the camera and instead choosing to lay kisses all over Bitty’s neck and shoulder. When that’s finished, they settle down again. Jack rubs his thumb in slow, soothing circles over Bitty’s palm, and Bitty tries to focus only on that, he really does, but his brain starts running a mile a minute again, and soon he’s worked himself up because  _ he’s going to forget this _ . 

Sex has always been kind of a big deal to Bitty, and now he’s gone and done it and come morning, he’ll have forgotten all about it. 

“What are you thinking about?” Jack asks quietly. 

“I’m not going to remember this.”

Bitty hears Jack shift on the bed, but he keeps his eyes shut. He’s not sure if he can look at Jack right now.

“Bitty…”

Jack’s voice is so gentle, it makes Bitty’s heart ache. He squeezes his eyes tighter and shakes his head.

“Bits, look at me. Please?”

Bitty shakes his head again.

Two warm fingers land on his chin, tilting his head to the side. Jack kisses him gently. “Please?”

Bitty opens his eyes, and Jack is looking at him, blue eyes so wide and soft. He kisses Bitty again. “I love you.”

It feels like a knife to the heart. “I love you too,” he whispers back, and he realizes it’s true. In spite of everything, he loves Jack Zimmermann, and Jack loves him back. “That’s why it hurts so bad, Jack. This has been the most amazing night, and it’s all going to be gone in the morning. And all this pain… Jack, I won’t remember it, but you will! You’ll feel it every day. Why do you keep doing this to yourself?”

Jack gathers Bitty closer, tucking him against his chest despite the tears streaking Bitty’s cheeks. “Because I love you. Because you’re funny and kind and talented and so full of hope. Every day that I get to make you fall in love with me again is a gift,  _ mon coeur _ . It’s all worth it to me. You’re worth it.”

Bitty wriggles against Jack’s grasp until he can free his arms and throw them around Jack’s neck. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Jack Zimmermann. The very best.”

Jack holds on tight and doesn’t let go for Bitty doesn’t even know how long. He doesn’t mind, though; if he could stay like this forever, it would be just fine.

At last, though, reality comes crashing in as Bitty is just starting to fall asleep. “I should...probably go…” Jack murmurs.

“Oh, um. Yeah, probably. I don't think it would end well if I woke up with a stranger in my bed…”

Jack smiles at that, but his eyes are just ever too tight. He starts to roll out of the bed before Bitty lunges for him.

“Wait!”

Jack stops, looking over his shoulder with a raised brow. “Yeah?”

“Oh, this is going to sound so selfish but...do you think you could maybe stay a little longer? Just until I fell asleep?”

The smile that breaks over Jack’s face is breathtaking. “Of course. Of course, Bitty, I’d love to.” He settles himself back onto the bed, opening his arms for Bitty to curl up against his chest.

“Thank you, Jack. This has been the best day I can remember… Probably the best day of my life.”

Jack kisses the top of Bitty’s head. “I feel the same way,  _ mon coeur _ . Now sleep, so I can make you fall in love with me all over again tomorrow.”

Bitty giggles and snuggles closer, pressing a kiss to Jack’s skin. “Love you, too.”

-x-

“They’re tickets for the home opener,” Jack explains, shifting his weight on his feet. “I thought you might like to come. I would have gotten you a seat in the family and friends section, but I thought that might lead to a lot of questions you wouldn’t want to answer, and I didn’t want you to be stressed out at the game. They’re still good seats, though.”

Bitty lays his hand over his heart. “Oh, Jack. That’s so thoughtful!”

“So...will you come?”

“On one condition: I’m going to need a Zimmermann jersey.”

-x-

“Do people know we’re dating?”

Jack looks up from his book. “A few of your friends do, but nobody else. It was a bit of a struggle to explain our relationship to your friends; they weren’t really sure how it worked since you’d forget me day to day. They wanted to make sure I wasn’t taking advantage of you or anything. They came around in the end, but we decided to keep it to ourselves for a little while longer. Plus there would be all sorts of media attention on us if I said I was dating anyone, and neither of us wanted that. In time, I’d like to tell more people, like my parents, but I’m okay with where we are now.”

Bitty nods absently, absorbing this information. It makes sense. 

Then he looks up again. “Remind me who your parents are?”

-x-

“Is this...Taylor Swift?”

_ “Jack Zimmermann, do not blaspheme!” _

-x-

“I have anxiety,” Jack admits one night as they’re lounging on the couch. “And depression, but mostly I have trouble with the anxiety.”

Bitty turns to look at Jack, eyes wide. He’s not sure what to say, and he tells Jack as much.

Jack quirks a small smile. “You don’t have to say anything, Bits. It’s a lot better than it used to be. When I was a kid, I… There was a lot of pressure on me to live up to my dad’s legacy. A lot of it came from coaches and fans and teammates, but a lot of it came from myself, too. Suffice it to say that I was kind of a mess by the time the draft rolled around. I came very close to taking too many of my pills, but my friend caught me just in time. I took a little time off and got some help, and I’ve made a lot of progress. I spent a lot of time feeling miserable and sorry for myself, though, and it weighed me down. Which is why I think it’s so brave that you just keep going like you do. It takes a lot of hard work to keep getting up. I just...thought you should know.”

Bitty squeezes Jack’s hand tight. “Thank you for telling me, sweetheart. You let me know if there’s anything I can do for you to help, y’hear?”

Jack squeezes Bitty’s hand back and nods. 

-x-

“Lord, some people are either very brave or very stupid… Why anyone would drink spicy taco flavored coffee is beyond me.”

“ _ Hah _ , yeah…weird...”

-x-

And so time passes, though at a peculiar pace for Bitty. He works at the bakery and spends time with his friends and family and goes on dates with his boyfriend. He’s careful to watch his video every morning and make a video every night. Most days are good days, and the ones that aren’t are few and far between. His vlog is successful, his pies are popular, and he is happier than he can ever remember being. 

It hasn't all been easy, of course. Jack and Bitty are complicated people with complicated lives; there's bound to be disagreement and upset. They talk it out, and sometimes it's like pulling teeth but they do it, and they never go to bed without resolving their problems first.

Because it's worth it. 

They're worth it.

-x-

_ “Good morning, Bitty! Today is November 18, 2020. I know this must be confusing, so I’ll explain a few things. _

_ “On October 17, 2019, you were in a car accident that left you with brain damage. You developed a condition called Goldfield Syndrome, which means you lost your short-term memory. You can remember things for about a day before they go away.  _

_ “Every morning you watch a video like this one that explains what happened, and every night you make a video diary to record your day. They’re all on a drive if you want to check them out.  _

_ “I know it sounds very scary, but you’ve been doing great so far! You still work at the bakery with Cathy and Sam, you still have all your wonderful friends from Samwell, your family still loves you, and you even have a boyfriend! His name is Jack Zimmermann, and you love each other very much. You met at work on April 21, 2020. There’s a whole section of that drive about Jack, if you want to check that out, too.  _

_ “I realize this is a lot to throw at someone, especially so early in the morning. You’ve had some hard days, I won’t lie. But you’ve made it through each and every one of them, and I am so proud of you. You survived a terrible accident, and each day is a gift that you get to make the best of, so go out there and make the best of it.  _

_ “Now get out of bed and get to work! Those pies won’t bake themselves!” _


End file.
